Can you forgive disloyalty?

[Captain Zap]

If the answer is 'NO!', here are 5 steps to get rid of disloyal friends:


Choosing friends wisely is the first line of defense against bad relationships, but everyone makes mistakes in judging the the character of some people. Disloyal friends not only bring heartache and drama to your life, but they can be toxic to your other relationships and cause health problems from the stress you carry. Use these steps to learn about getting rid of disloyal friends.


Step 1:
Share your expectations from the beginning of new friendships. You should always share with your friends what you expect from the friendship and offer how you define a strong friendship. On the other hand, you need to be willing to listen to how they define friendship and what they expect from you.

Step 2:
Be honest. If you feel as if a friend is being disloyal, tell them. Be honest about how you feel and let them know specifically which situation has affected you. Tell them you expect better from them. If you have a hard time letting go, use this conversation as a warning or start over point. If the disloyalty continues, it's time to cut them loose.

Step 3:
Talk to other friends in confidence about the disloyalty. If you are unsure about the situation, ask other friends if they have experienced the same problem with the person and how they handled the situation. This must be handled delicately and not done as a bash session or gossiping.

Step 4:
Cut them loose. If the disloyal behavior or attitude continues, you need to cut the friendship out of your life. You can't sacrifice your other relationships, health and other effects of a toxic relationship for someone who doesn't appreciate it. Tell them honestly how you feel and that you can no longer have them in your life. They will react either badly or peacefully and you need to resolve yourself to making the best decision and move on.

Step 5:
Use the lesson and new free time to appreciate those loyal and strong friends in your life. Tell them how much they mean to you and thank them for their loyalty and honesty in your relationship. This will also help you heal from the destroyed friendship faster. Broken friendships are just as hard to spring back from as a broken love relationship. Use the support of your friends to get you through.




Can you forgive?

[Roemello]

Pretty good tips! Depending on the severity, I can usually forgive on an apology. Few are beyond it, but with the vast majority of such issues, communication is the key... once broken, no progress can ever be made. Such I've found myself even recently... talking things out and understanding on both sides can almost always make things good

[BlueMolly2006]

It depends on the situation. I do agree with Roem, communication is the key. I have isssues with people who drop you as a friend, just because you do something they don't agree with. Just because a friend does that, doesn't mean they are a bad friend. (Hope I'm making sense there. ) I have lost a few friends due to miscommunication on one side or the other.

[Diabolique]

It takes an apology to forgive...and in most cases I'll forgive with the proper -and sincere-apology, but unfortunately, some won't get a second chance. It all depends on the situation.


I've gone out of my way to help a few whom now, in retrospect, didn't deserve a second chance.

No sense in giving a third chance to those who have behaved like disloyal rat finks. They are a waste of my time.

[Corvette Girl]

I have isssues with people who drop you as a friend, just because you do something they don't agree with.

There is always a reason for that. People won't just drop you as a friend unless you have done something bad to them. >_>

[Captain Zap]

There is always a reason for that. People won't just drop you as a friend unless you have done something bad to them. >_>

Ditto! Things like that never happen just because.

Now fess up, Blue Molly. What did ya do?

[Kevinator]

I usually will accept an apology but it makes me a litlle leary of this person. I forgive but don't forget.

[Captain Zap]

I guess I never answered this one.

I forgive but rarely forget. It's important NOT to forget. It helps you avoid making the same mistake TWICE!

[Southern Image]

I might forgive SOME people, but I NEVER forget.

I pick my friends wisely. I would never be disloyal to them or hurt them in any way. I expect to be treated the same way.

The people I call "friends" are that, friends! We don't back-stab each other, drop each other as friends just because someone else doesn't like them, we don't use each other for gain, nor do we lie to each other.

My friends treat me the way I treat them, with RESPECT! Thats why we've been friends for so long.

I don't like "TOXIC" people and drop them from my life after they've burned me once. No second chances for them. I don't need, or have to, keep giving the same person 20 chances just so they can keep on doing it. It's a waste of time and they NEVER, EVER, change.

I also don't like people who react badly once they realize they've been dropped. They've been let go for a reason. Don't come begging back like a dog, or start up some drama filled hate fest, just because things didn't go your way.