COMPUTER LAB ANTICS PART 2
Guaranteed ways to freak people out in a computer lab pt. II
Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grinds some more. Repeat
procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases
tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your
neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that
Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove your shoes and place them on top of the
monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about
the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab
supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever
you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a
sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is
noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard.
his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your*
key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this
you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya
know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print
document and leave.
Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate
your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive and claim that the
Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You
that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or
two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under
the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly
start to type
Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your
lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and
Pull out a pencil and start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile
incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss
screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug
your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin
Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk
up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile