COMPUTER LAB ANTICS PART 1
Guaranteed ways to freak people out in a computer lab
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found
me!" and bolt out of the lab.
Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone
who looks at you.
When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the thing to
work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good
Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set
Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible
& over again.
Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl
underneath the desk.
Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon
Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..."
Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then
stop and continue typing.
Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of
your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."
Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray
"Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is
also a great way to make new friends).
Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the
If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever
processing time required.
Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act
like it hates you and then complain loudly that women
(men) are worthless.
Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when
you turn on one of those.
Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you
wanted was one line.
Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After doing this for a while, spit them out
feet of the person next to you.