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Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog - Dorothy

We're staying together for the sake of the cats.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

My karma ran over your dogma.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.

Beautify Texas - Put a Yankee on a bus.

Welcome to Texas, now go home.

It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time,she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

I is a college student.

Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Eschew obfuscation.

Will Rogers never met a lawyer.

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't steal - The government hates competition.

Is there life before coffee?

Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

Cover me - I'm changing lanes.

The weather is here - Wish you were beautiful.

I Cayman went.

My other wife is beautiful.

I need someone really bad - Are you really bad?

Smile - It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Don't laugh - Your daughter could be in this vehicle.

Geez if you belive in honkus.

Friends don't let friends drive naked.

Save California; when you leave take someone with you.

I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

There's one in every crowd and they always find me.

If money could talk, it would say goodbye.

When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.

Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.

If it's too loud, you're too old.

Wink - I'll do the rest.

The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.

An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.

Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Who cares who's on board?

No radio - Already stolen.

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.

Honk if you love cheeses.

Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.

So many pedestrians, so little time.

Honk if you're illiterate

My kid can beat up your honor student

Fight crime, shoot back

Guns don't kill people postal workers do.

It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put the boogers.

It's not how you pick it, but where you flick it

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

My wife's other car is a broom

Go ahead and honk - I'm reloading

This car is like my husband, if it ain't yours don't touch it!

Give Blood, Play Hockey

I like cats, they taste like chicken

Fleece on earth, good wool to ewe

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