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IF PULLED OVER, DON'T SAY. . .

No, YOU assume the position, Piggy.

I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts was running a 3 for 1 special!

If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

No, offi, offic, lucifer... I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.

No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110.

Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!

On the way to the station let's get a six pack.

You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Punk!

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

Hey officer is that your nightstick in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

What do you use those rubber gloves for?

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